24
Apr
06

How to Get Robbed

There’s getting robbed and then there’s getting robbed. The kind of “robbed” I’m talking about is the kind where people break into your office with screwdrivers and take off with some laptops and the projector from your conference room and you spend part of your busy morning talking to a cop. That’s the kind of robbing I experienced this morning.

With no further ado, I give you my 8 steps to getting robbed:

1. Don’t put a deadbolt on your doors. Don’t even think about it. A deadbolt makes it impossible to jimmy open a door using a screwdriver. If you put a deadbolt on your door then the only alternative the thieves will have is to rob your neighbor’s office.


2. Don’t put in an alarm system. This will scare thieves away because they’ll think they might get caught by somebody who would be alerted by the alarm.

3. Don’t have a camera system installed. A camera system will put thieves at the risk of having their mugs on film, which would make it easier for the cops to track them down.

4. Don’t put blinds on your windows. If you do this, burglars won’t be able to see what you have inside your office, and therefore they are perhaps not as likely to burgle you as if they could see your laptops sitting all around.

5. Don’t use the blinds that are on your windows. If you already have blinds on your windows, it’s probably a bad idea to use them. Make sure they’re wide open to provide maximum visibility of the items in your office.

6. Don’t take easy-to-steal property home, nor hide it. What’s the good of leaving the blinds open if you put things in cases and keep them out of sight? Put laptops on tables next to windows where they’re sure to be seen, that’s my advice.

7. Don’t get property insurance. This doesn’t have anything to do with getting robbed, but it’s a good follow-up. I mean, if you get robbed but then someone gives you money for the stuff you lost, what good is that? You’ll be right back where you started in no time.

8. Don’t worry. People who worry about things sometimes have a tendency to take actions that prevent them from needing to worry about said things. But if you want to get robbed, it’s better to not worry in the first place.

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But in all seriousness, it wasn’t that bad. We lost a projector ($1,450) and two older laptops ($1,250 total). Neither of the laptops had any critical data on them. I was surprised the thieves left all the desktops, monitors, and other assorted goodies. I was also relieved since the data on the machines that didn’t get stolen is the most important asset our company has. I guess they knew what they wanted. But the joke’s on them, because now they have to deal with the blue screen of death I kept getting on that laptop. Ha.

  • http://www.brockblake.com Brock Blake

    Josh,

    That sucks bro! It looks like Jeff Barson had a similar experience — I’ll be sure to keep my laptop and iPods out of sight.

    I’m glad that it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

    Brock

  • http://jordy.gundy.org jordy

    My top recommendation for *not* being robbed is not to own anything valuable. Of course, it helps to be way poor. :)

  • http://www.russpage.net Russell Page

    Didn’t this happen before at that building with SNG? I wonder if that new RV dealership or Boondocks has an outdoor camera that would have picked something up?

    Maybe you could put the snipers in the prison towers on contract for protection.

  • http://gregorybowers.com gb

    Oh man, that’s awful. I had a similar experience recently in regards to preparedness: my basement flooded. Of course, I didn’t do any of the obvious things to prevent the damage to my stuff that occurred, such as not leaving books and things on the ground, keeping all my stuff out of the one corner in the house that has cracks in the foundation, etc.
    My last job went wild on security and surveilence. They had alarms and very conspicuous video cameras everywhere. Place seemed more secure than the pentagon. Then I realised most of those cameras were for spying on the employees…

  • http://www.ryanmoney.com RMoney

    Another word to the wise. If the cops are in your office don’t talk about the illegal fireworks that are sitting in the box on your desk.

  • http://www.mwi.com Joshua Steimle

    Although if you want to get caught the best possible time to mention the illegal fireworks would be while the cop is walking by the open door to your office.

  • http://www.smoothharold.com Blake

    Too funny (or sad I guess). The only time I got robbed was as a youngling in grade school. Some punk kids broke into our house while the fam was on vacation and stole my brand new Reebok Pumps. There were all white and whatnot so I was pretty pissed. Strangly, the only thing else they took was a bunch of coins from pops’ change bowl. They left everything else… most of which was way more valuable.

    Amateurs.

  • http://jeremyvotaw.com Jeremy Votaw

    Sorry to hear about the break-in. Theft blows, but I prefer it when it is this kind of obvious theft though as opposed to the silent theft of data (hackers). If you are looking for something good out of this – just be glad data wasn’t compromised. And IN$$URANCE Check! Later.